Carlene, Where Have You Been?

Have you ever felt the need to take a break from the entire world and sleep your life away? Okay, that sounds a little dark, but that's where I was. I was in such a dark space surrounded by stars I couldn't reach (OH SNAP...BARZ!!!).
Before my trip to Bermuda last November, I was in a huge funk. I took two semesters off and stopped all the writing I was supposed to finish. Why? LIFE! Depression was an understatement. Going on this trip would be my resource for peace- regaining my purpose in life. I did enjoy myself. It was relaxing but amazing as well. I didn't want it to end. However, when docking, reality slapped me straight in the face.
A few days later, I became seriously ill. Fever, chills, runny nose, sore throat, and body ache went to a level of unbearable. The most I could do was lie in bed and pray I wouldn't die while coughing up my lungs and kidneys.
To my surprise, I started to get better, so I thought.

That was from November to December. January, I felt much better, but I had an annoying cough that left me feeling as if trash was in my throat. I went on a retreat with my church. All was well until I left the day to go home. I felt sick again with the same symptoms. But something was different. It was my peace of mind I gained from the retreat. The theme of the retreat was Life By Design. My eyes opened to who I am and what I will become if I allow God to handle the design of my life.

I became focused on all I have to do. Being sick put me back in bed for another few weeks. The children cooked and made sure things were done around the house until my husband got home. It felt amazing to lay in bed and do absolutely nothing but get healed and better. That didn't happen.
No, it wasn't the kids that bothered me. It wasn't my husband. It was all the characters I needed to write about, talking to me all at once. Only a writer will understand this.

Along with the characters came millions of ideas for a blog, vlog, podcast, and more. I was like, "God, are you kidding me?" I didn't have enough strength to sit up to write. Little by little, I gained strength to do some work every day. Whether I typed when my fingernails weren't aching or used the talk to text feature (whispering), I got something done every day.

You see, I was obedient. God told me clearly that He allowed all of this to happen. All He wants for me to do is write. Amid the illness, He gave me back my desire to design and create websites. I also gain my love for graphic design. So far, I have two clients who are grateful for my services (go figure).

I thought I would be further along in life by now at my age (45), but now I know I'm not late, nor have I not missed anything. I'm on time. This peace that surpasses all of my understanding is the most surprising discovery I've ever encountered. God has me where he wants me-I'm grateful.
So this is where I've been and where I am. Stay tuned for upcoming novels, blogs, vlogs, podcasts, and much more. I love you all, and thank you for your support.

Carlene
Happy Reading, Happy Life